6 Ways to Heal from Imposter Syndrome for Birth Workers
Over on the BADT community app, conversation around imposter syndrome has come up several times. Likewise, our BADT team has spent plenty of time talking about and working through our own experiences of imposter syndrome.
Here’s the thing: humans experience feelings of not being enough, worries about being incapable, and/or comparing ourselves to others.
AND there are ways to work with these big feelings and continue doing the work we are called to do. This blog will offer some perspectives from the BADT team, as well as practical ideas for reclaiming your power and sense of confidence.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome, generally, is the experience of doubting yourself and doubting your abilities. It can show up as negative self-talk, intense self-criticism or analysis, the desire to achieve perfection and tendency to overachieve, self-sabotage, living or playing small due to fear and lack of confidence, undervaluing your work and experience.
This is not a diagnosis (note the sarcasm); rather, this is an acknowledgement of how very human it is to experience imposter syndrome, especially as you embark on new journeys, learnings, offerings. Shifting your identity, expanding yourself, is BIG work.
We are so glad you are here expanding with us!
Thoughts from the BADT Team
These are some of the ways the BADT team works with and heals from imposter syndrome.
JB (they/he; BADT Program Director and Lead Teacher): “When I feel imposter syndrome, I try to remember that I wasn't socialized to value my own lived experience. That acknowledgement allows me to be more gentle with myself when big feelings of ‘not enough-ness’ come up. If I can be honest about the fact that I am re-learning that my experience is valuable (very much swimming upstream to do so), then it makes sense that I have moments in which I question that value. I also try to ask myself ‘What is the worst that can happen if I put myself in a position where I need to say the words “I don't know”?’ If I conclude that my not knowing won't be violent, and that it will mean I have identified a new area to grow into - then I go for it!”
euni (she/they; BADT Community Liaison): “Instead of rejecting or pushing back against the feeling of imposter syndrome, I've come to connect with it as a part of me. It's like my intuition - it gives me a pulse towards something I need to pay attention to. When imposter syndrome arises in me, I know that I am approaching an edge, that I'm being challenged to expand, to explore, and to try new things. So when I start to feel this challenge, I lean into curiosity, connection, and rituals that help me self-soothe and nourish myself. I look at what I'm ready to let go of and examine what I'm growing into. I try to slow down, take things off my plate that are no longer feeling aligned with what I am moving towards, and I increase my self care, sharing time with community members who inspire or uplift me, and ways of introspection. The way I navigate imposter syndrome each time is different, however, what I notice works best is allowing myself to hold these feelings with gratitude and using these messages to help me transform.”
Court (they/them; BADT Blog Writer and Editor): “When I notice imposter syndrome creeping up, I do my best to slow down-- Stop. Breathe. Feel. These seemingly simple steps are really challenging for me to access at times, and they work better than anything else. Slowing down is counter to the dominant culture, and that’s medicine in and of itself. Lack mentality (a product of capitalism and all the other -isms) wants me to think there’s not enough to go around, that I am not _____ enough, that I need to act with urgency. So, yeah… slowing down is supremely supportive, not only to myself, but to the ways I show up interpersonally and in community. On a practical level, after slowing down, I invite myself to begin where I feel most confident, most like me. When I started my coaching practice for teens nearly 5 years ago, I started with writing. My blog became a space where I experimented with my voice, language, offerings, etc. As a lifelong writer, I felt confident connecting with others in this way. From here, I was able to expand into my role.”
Liana (she/her; BADT Administrative Assistant): “I always think about how saying ‘I don't know,’ or asking for additional help, or making a mistake in public might give someone else permission to do the same. And then one day, there will be more of us living in our imposter syndrome together rather than trying to hide it alone.
Sabia (she/they; BADT Founder and Lead Teacher): “My imposter syndrome is the voice of the oppressor. When I experience imposter syndrome, I have to make an intentional choice to go against the grain and do something different. I ask myself ‘Is this story actually true (the story I am building in my head) or is this a story I am telling myself?’ When I am setting goals, I ask, ‘Where am I getting this goal? Is it something that feels achievable to me or is it a goal that I am setting because I've seen someone else do it? What is real success for me?’"
Tools for Reclaiming Your Power and Confidence
Name the feelings. Rather than just pushing through, notice and name the feelings. You might like to acknowledge them, thank them for showing up as “protectors,” and invite them to leave.
Connect with others. Share space with folks who inspire you and uplift you. While introspection can be helpful for processing, it’s important to avoid isolation. Chances are, if you’re experiencing imposter syndrome, other folks are too, and you can get through it together!
Keep an awesomeness journal. Really. Take screenshots of kind words from colleagues, clients, and loved ones. Keep a folder on your phone or in your email or write these things down in a journal you can thumb through. Return to these places to remind yourself of your gifts on the regular-- not just when you’re feeling down. These people are reflecting your awesomeness back to you; receive it and remind yourself of how badass you are.
Take it step by step. You don’t have to do it all at once. You don’t have to go fast. Start one step at a time. Some people like to start with the steps that feel the most difficult when they have the most energy, and others like to start with the steps that feel most comfortable or doable. Learn what works best for you, and then work through your challenging tasks little by little.
Ask for help. Part of being in tune with yourself is knowing when and how you need help. EVERYBODY needs support, care, community, and assistance. As we let go of perfectionist parts of ourselves and doubtful parts of ourselves, we can ask for help in honest and brave ways.
Explore abundance practices. Rather than sitting in comparison, you can access a lot of support and confidence by practicing abundance. This can look like using affirmations for self-encouragement, talking with colleagues about how you can support one another and collaborate (rather than compete, for example), and focusing on the skills and traits that are feeling in-flow or accessible.
What other practice do YOU have for reclaiming your power and confidence? Engage with the convos we are having over on IG!
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